NRI Women and Karthika Masam: Balancing Career, Family, and Faith

How Indian-American women are redefining devotion, one dawn lamp at a time

At 5:15 AM in suburban New Jersey, while most of her neighbors sleep, Priya Iyer lights a small brass lamp in her home temple. Still in her pajamas, with her laptop already humming on the kitchen counter, she begins her Karthika Masam morning ritual—a practice her grandmother followed in Chennai, her mother continued in Bangalore, and now she maintains in Edison. By 5:45 AM, she’ll be preparing breakfast for her two children. By 7:30 AM, she’ll be on a Zoom call with her team in Hyderabad. But these 30 sacred minutes at dawn belong entirely to her faith.

Priya’s story is not unique. Across America, thousands of NRI women are writing new chapters in the ancient story of Karthika Masam—the holiest month in the Hindu calendar. They’re software engineers and doctors, entrepreneurs and professors, mothers and mentors. And they’re proving that devotion doesn’t diminish in the face of demanding careers; it deepens, transforms, and finds new expressions in unexpected places.

The 5 AM Sisterhood: When Faith Meets the Dawn

Karthika Masam, which falls between October and November, is considered especially auspicious for worship of Lord Vishnu and Lord Shiva. Traditional observance includes lighting lamps before sunrise, performing special prayers, and following specific dietary practices—rituals designed for a different era, a different pace of life.

For NRI women juggling conference calls across time zones, school carpools, and career ambitions, these dawn rituals might seem impossible. Yet they’re happening in homes from Silicon Valley to Boston.

“My colleagues don’t understand why I won’t schedule 6 AM meetings during November,” says Dr. Lakshmi Venkataraman, a cardiologist in Chicago. “I tell them I have a standing appointment. They assume it’s yoga. It’s not wrong—lighting a lamp and chanting is yoga for my soul.”

Dr. Venkataraman wakes at 4:45 AM throughout Karthika Masam, a full hour before her usual alarm. She performs a abbreviated but heartfelt puja, lights her family’s collection of brass lamps (her mother shipped them from Mysore), and spends 20 minutes in quiet reflection before her household awakens.

“In India, my grandmother had time. She could sit for an hour. I have 20 minutes, but I make them count. God understands time zones and to-do lists,” she says with a gentle smile.

The Modern Karthika Masam: Rituals Reimagined

Adapting Without Abandoning

NRI women are masters of adaptation, maintaining the spirit of tradition while acknowledging modern realities:

The Dawn Lamp Lighting Traditional: Light 365 lamps in an elaborate display Modern NRI Version: Light one or several lamps before sunrise, sometimes using electric lights on busy mornings, returning to oil lamps on weekends

The Fasting Rituals Traditional: Complete fasting or strict vegetarian diet for the entire month Modern NRI Version: “Flexitarian devotion”—vegetarian dinners, weekend fasts, giving up specific foods as personal sacrifice

The Tulsi Pradakshina Traditional: Circumambulating tulsi plant 108 times daily Modern NRI Version: Maintaining tulsi plants indoors (challenged by heating systems), doing pradakshina on weekends, or meditating near the plant daily

The Sacred Baths Traditional: Pre-dawn baths in holy rivers Modern NRI Version: Early morning showers with intention, adding tulsi leaves to bath water, visiting nearby lakes or rivers on weekends

Inspiring Stories: Women Who Light the Way

Anjali Reddy: The Tech Leader Who Logs Off for Devotion

At 38, Anjali Reddy is a Director of Engineering at a Fortune 500 company in Seattle, managing teams across three continents. She’s also a devoted observer of Karthika Masam—a combination she’s learned to navigate with fierce intentionality.

“I block my calendar from 6-7 AM daily during Karthika Masam. It shows as ‘Personal Commitment’—no different from a dentist appointment,” Anjali explains. “The first year, I felt guilty. Now, I realize: my faith makes me a better leader. I’m calmer, more centered, more compassionate.”

Anjali’s morning routine includes lighting lamps at her home altar, reading one chapter from the Bhagavad Gita (in English, sometimes Telugu), and a 10-minute meditation. She’s introduced her 8-year-old daughter to the practice, though she keeps it optional and engaging.

“My daughter loves lighting the lamps. She doesn’t understand all the philosophy yet, but she understands that we start our day with gratitude. That’s enough for now.”

Anjali’s team has noticed the change. “One colleague told me I seem ‘extra zen’ in November. I told her about Karthika Masam. Now three other Indian women on my team have started their own morning practices. We joke that we’re the 5 AM sisterhood.”

Dr. Meera Krishnan: The Physician Who Prescribes Faith

Dr. Meera Krishnan, an OB-GYN in Houston, has delivered over 2,000 babies in her 15-year career. She’s also never missed a Karthika Masam observance, even during her medical residency.

“During residency, I was working 80-hour weeks. Some nights, I’d come home at 2 AM, still have to wake at 5 AM for puja,” Dr. Krishnan recalls. “My roommate thought I was crazy. But those 15 minutes of lighting a lamp—that was my anchor in the chaos.”

Now, as an attending physician with more control over her schedule, Dr. Krishnan has deepened her practice. She observes partial fasts (one meal a day) on Mondays during Karthika Masam, maintains a vegetarian diet throughout the month, and has created a small shrine in her office.

“Patients sometimes notice the small Ganesha statue on my desk. It opens beautiful conversations about faith and healing. I’ve had Hindu patients cry with relief that their doctor understands their beliefs about auspicious dates for C-sections.”

Dr. Krishnan believes her Karthika Masam practice has made her a more empathetic physician. “Medicine is about science, yes. But healing is also about hope, faith, and the human spirit. Karthika Masam reminds me of that monthly.”

Kavita Sharma: The Entrepreneur Who Built Business Around Beliefs

Kavita Sharma moved to California’s Bay Area in 2015 to launch a sustainable fashion startup. She’s now a successful entrepreneur with 30 employees—and she closes her office at 4 PM throughout Karthika Masam.

“Everyone thought I was sabotaging my business,” Kavita laughs. “In startup culture, you’re supposed to hustle 24/7. But I realized: my values ARE my brand. If I can’t honor my faith, what am I building for?”

Kavita uses the late afternoon for puja, temple visits, and reflection. She’s made Karthika Masam a company-wide “slow season,” encouraging employees to leave early and pursue their own forms of renewal.

“Our productivity hasn’t dropped—it’s increased. People are more creative, more energized. Taking time for faith, for family, for self—it’s not a luxury. It’s essential.”

Kavita also hosts a Karthika Masam gathering at her home each year, inviting women from her Indian-American professional network. “We share our struggles, our adaptations, our wins. It’s part spiritual, part networking, all authentic.”

Radha Patel: The Single Mom Who Finds Strength in Tradition

Radha Patel, a software product manager in Austin and single mother of two, credits Karthika Masam with helping her through her divorce three years ago.

“When my marriage fell apart, I felt lost. I was in a new country, raising kids alone, questioning everything,” Radha shares quietly. “That first Karthika Masam after the divorce, I almost skipped it. Then I thought: my grandmother did this ritual through partition, through poverty, through loss. I can do it through divorce.”

Radha’s practice is simple but steadfast: lighting one lamp each morning, saying a short prayer, and making sure her children see her devotion. “I want them to know that faith isn’t about perfection or perfect families. It’s about showing up, even when life is messy.”

She’s noticed her children are curious. Her 10-year-old daughter now joins her for weekend puja. “She asked me why we light lamps. I told her: to remind ourselves that we carry light inside us, even in dark times. She got quiet, then said, ‘That’s beautiful, Mom.’ I almost cried.”

The Unique Challenges NRI Women Face

Time Zone Troubles

Many NRI women have family or work connections spanning multiple time zones. Lighting lamps before sunrise in California means 3:30 PM in India—prime time for calls with aging parents who want to video chat during their evening prayers.

“I sometimes do puja on video call with my mother in Hyderabad,” shares Nisha Menon from San Francisco. “It’s not traditional, but it keeps us connected. She guides me through mantras I’ve forgotten. Technology can serve devotion too.”

Climate and Materials

Finding tulsi plants that survive American winters, sourcing proper oil lamps and wicks, obtaining fresh flowers for offerings—these logistical challenges are real.

“Amazon Prime has become my puja supplier,” jokes Swathi Rao from Minnesota. “I order oil wicks in bulk, grow tulsi indoors under grow lights, and use silk flowers when fresh ones aren’t available. My grandmother would be horrified, but I think God appreciates the effort.”

Cultural Isolation

Without the communal reinforcement of India—where everyone around you is observing Karthika Masam—NRI women often practice in isolation.

“My American colleagues don’t understand why I’m suddenly vegetarian for a month. My kids’ friends ask why our house smells like incense,” says Divya Krishnamurthy from North Carolina. “You have to be confident in your faith when you’re the only one practicing it visibly.”

Explaining to Second-Generation Children

Perhaps the biggest challenge is transmitting tradition to American-born children who don’t automatically absorb Hindu culture.

“My 12-year-old asked, ‘Why do we have to wake up early? Why can’t we just pray at night?'” recounts Preeti Joshi from Boston. “I had to articulate what I’d always just done. It forced me to understand my own faith more deeply—which was actually a gift.”

Strategies for Success: How They Make It Work

1. The 80/20 Rule of Devotion

Many NRI women embrace an 80/20 approach: maintain 80% of traditional practices with 20% adaptation for reality.

“I can’t do 100% of what my grandmother did. But I can do 80%—and I do that 80% with full heart,” says Shalini Nair, a professor at UCLA.

2. Community Creation

Women are forming WhatsApp groups, organizing weekend temple visits, and hosting group prayers to recreate the communal aspect of Indian religious life.

The “Karthika Masam Morning Motivation” WhatsApp group has 250 members across the US. Women share photos of their lit lamps each morning, creating virtual community and accountability.

“Knowing 250 other women are waking up early makes it easier,” says group founder Mythili Sharma. “We’re not alone.”

3. Spiritual Flexibility

Rather than guilt over imperfect practice, these women embrace adaptive devotion.

“Some mornings, my ‘puja’ is 30 seconds and a mental prayer while I’m making school lunches,” admits Harini Desai, a management consultant who travels frequently. “God sees my heart, not just my actions. I do my best; some days, my best is very small. That’s okay.”

4. Partner Support

Many women credit supportive spouses (sometimes non-Indian partners) with enabling their practice.

“My husband is American, not Hindu. But during Karthika Masam, he wakes up with me, makes coffee, and keeps the kids quiet during my puja time,” shares Pooja Venkatesan. “He doesn’t share my faith, but he respects it—and that’s love.”

5. Professional Boundaries

Successful NRI women have learned to set boundaries without over-explaining.

“I don’t announce ‘I’m Hindu and need to pray.’ I just say, ‘I’m not available before 7 AM in November.’ Period,” says Ramya Subramanian, a finance executive. “Professional boundaries don’t require religious justification.”

The Benefits: What Faith Gives Back

Mental Health and Resilience

Multiple women cite improved mental health, reduced anxiety, and greater resilience as direct benefits of their Karthika Masam practice.

“In the tech industry, burnout is epidemic. My morning ritual is preventive mental health care,” says Aruna Rajan, an engineering manager. “It’s 20 minutes where I’m not producing, not performing, not proving anything. I just am. That’s revolutionary in Silicon Valley.”

Cultural Identity

For women far from birthplace, Karthika Masam becomes an anchor of identity.

“I’ve lived in America longer than I lived in India. Sometimes I feel like I’m losing my ‘Indian-ness,'” reflects Deepa Murthy. “Karthika Masam grounds me. I am the daughter of my ancestors. This practice proves it.”

Role Modeling

Women speak powerfully about the example they set for children, especially daughters.

“My daughter sees me prioritize faith and career—not faith OR career,” says Shruti Patel. “She’s learning that women can be ambitious AND spiritual, successful AND traditional. She doesn’t have to choose.”

Professional Excellence

Counterintuitively, many women report that their devotional practice enhances rather than hinders their careers.

“Leadership requires presence, calm, and clarity. Karthika Masam cultivates all three,” notes Vasudha Iyengar, a nonprofit director. “I’m a better leader because of my faith, not in spite of it.”

Creating Your Own Practice: Practical Tips

For Beginners

Start Small

Light one lamp, three mornings a week
Say one simple prayer or mantra
Commit to just one week, then extend

Use Technology

Set phone reminders for puja time
Use apps with mantras and guides
Join online communities for support

Simplify

Pre-fill lamps the night before
Keep puja supplies in one basket
Use shorter versions of traditional prayers

For Busy Professionals

Time-Block Aggressively

Treat puja time like unmovable meeting
Wake 30 minutes earlier
Prepare the night before to minimize morning decisions

Communicate Boundaries

Tell family/roommates about your practice
Set work calendar to block early hours
Don’t over-explain; simple “not available” suffices

Optimize Your Space

Create permanent altar space (no daily setup)
Keep all supplies in immediate reach
Make space beautiful—you’ll be drawn to it

For Mothers

Include Children (Gently)

Let them help light lamps (supervised)
Explain in simple terms they understand
Make it optional, never forced

Model, Don’t Lecture

Children learn by watching
Your consistent practice speaks louder than words
Share joy of ritual, not burden of obligation

Accept Imperfection

Some mornings will be chaotic
Short practice is better than no practice
Guilt helps no one

For Those Far From Community

Build Virtual Sangha

Join online groups
Video call family in India during their prayers
Attend virtual temple services

Create Solo Rituals That Feel Communal

Follow same daily schedule as mother/grandmother in India
Light lamp “for” someone you love
Imagine generations of women doing this same practice

Visit Temples When Possible

Monthly temple visit can sustain weekly home practice
Connect with local Hindu communities
Attend Karthika Masam special events

The Broader Significance: Redefining Hindu Womanhood

These NRI women are not just maintaining tradition—they’re transforming it. They’re demonstrating that:

Devotion is compatible with ambition
Tradition can evolve without dissolving
Faith strengthens rather than limits women
Spirituality belongs in modern life, not separate from it

“In India, there’s sometimes a sense that ‘modern’ means ‘less religious,'” observes Dr. Uma Krishnan, a sociology professor studying Indian diaspora. “NRI women are challenging that. They’re highly educated, professionally successful, thoroughly modern—and deeply devout. They’re creating a new model.”

This model has implications beyond individual practice. Second-generation Indian-American daughters are watching their mothers balance boardrooms and puja rooms. They’re learning that success doesn’t require abandoning roots, that tradition can be questioned and adapted rather than simply accepted or rejected.

“My daughter told me she wants to be a scientist and still light lamps like me,” shares Archana Raman. “Twenty years ago, that might have seemed contradictory. Now? It’s just who we are.”

Looking Forward: The Future of Faith

As the Indian diaspora grows and matures, practices like Karthika Masam observance are evolving in fascinating ways:

Hybrid rituals blending traditional and contemporary elements
Virtual communities connecting practitioners across continents
Adapted practices suited to Western lifestyles but Hindu in spirit
Interfaith families creating unique traditions
Second-generation leadership as American-born Hindus create their own expressions of faith

“My daughters might practice differently than I do. That’s okay,” says Jayanthi Rao. “The core—devotion, discipline, connection to something greater—that will remain. The form will change. That’s how living traditions stay alive.”

Conclusion: Lighting Lamps in Two Worlds

Every morning during Karthika Masam, as dawn breaks across America, thousands of lamps flicker to life in homes from coast to coast. They’re lit by hands that also type code, perform surgeries, teach classes, negotiate deals, and tuck children into bed. They’re lit by women who live between worlds—Indian and American, traditional and modern, ancient and contemporary.

These women are not just maintaining rituals. They’re answering a profound question: Can you honor your heritage while building your future? Can you be fully American and fully Hindu? Can you have demanding career and devoted faith?

Their lives answer: Yes. Yes, with intention. Yes, with adaptation. Yes, with community. Yes, with support. Yes, imperfectly. Yes, beautifully.

As Priya Iyer in New Jersey completes her morning puja, checks her smartwatch, and opens her laptop for another day, she embodies this synthesis. The lamp she lights isn’t just maintaining tradition—it’s illuminating a new path for Hindu women in the diaspora.

“My grandmother would be proud,” Priya says softly. “Not because I do everything exactly as she did, but because I carry her faith forward. The lamp she lit in Chennai still burns—in Edison, in different form, in new hands, but the same light.”

That light—adapted but authentic, evolved but enduring—is what NRI women are offering to their children, their communities, and their adopted homeland. In balancing career, family, and faith, they’re not just surviving in two worlds. They’re thriving in both, and in the process, creating something new: a distinctly diasporic devotion, as American as it is Hindu, as modern as it is timeless.

The 5 AM lamps will keep burning.